Stuck: A Story of Love in the Midst of Pain
by ElsaTheCow
Summary: Kurt Hummel, fresh out of intensive inpatient treatment, is ready to be mainstreamed back into a public school environment, his first time being in public school since 8th grade. Is he scared? More like... terrified.
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or any of the characters associated with it (no matter how much I wish I did).

 _A/N: so... here's the prologue for my first major fic after an INSANELY long time that I've gone without writing any (meaning since 9th grade). Please let me know what you think! I'm already working on chapter 1, but yeah, this is not even close to being finished yet. I have no idea how long this is gonna be, either._

"Are you ready, bud?"

Kurt Hummel was absolutely _not_ ready. It was his first day of high school, so, yeah, he was bound to be nervous. This, however, was the first time he was going to be setting foot in a public school since his middle school days, none of which he'd like to relive. Kurt could see nothing good coming out of this transfer. Who transfers smack-dab in the middle of their high school experience?

Sure, he had officially been deemed "ready" for mainstreaming into a public school environment, but that didn't mean he was completely symptom-free. He would still be seeing his psychologist weekly and psychiatrist as needed. He still had trouble with clothing colors; he still had to wear light blue socks every day, because blue is the color of clear skies which means his dad is "in the clear" medically if her wears them. He still asks his dad The Questions for reassurance. He still likes his things arranged certain ways, and will most definitely freak out if things are disturbed. He still has intrusive thoughts.

Yet, Kurt can sleep in his room again without freaking out. He doesn't need to re-read sentences in books, or re-write sentences until they look just right. He can step on cracks in the sidewalk most days. He doesn't need to tap his nose 6 times on either side, over and over again. He doesn't wake up in the middle of the night crying because he had a non G-rated dream. He doesn't feel like his life is hopeless anymore.

Even though he didn't find life hopeless, that didn't mean he didn't resent his condition. Like now, as his dad drove the car into the parking lot of William McKinley High School, Kurt was anxiously fiddling with his bowtie, straightening it over and over again, as he repeated his mantra over and over again in his head- _I will be okay. Dad will be okay. Everything will be okay._ He wanted so badly to believe it, to feel positive about this drastic change in his life, but any change in his routine was terrifying.

Kurt felt the car slow to a stop. "Kurt? Did you hear me?" Kurt whipped his head around from where he had been staring at out the window, realizing that he hadn't responded to his dad's original question.

He looked down at his hands, both of which were shaking quite a bit. "Yeah, Dad; yeah, I'm ready," he answered, unsure if his dad could see through he is façade, and if he could, whether or not that would mean he wouldn't have to go through with this transfer. He placed up at his father, and could tell that his dad was almost as unsure about this transition as he was. Nevertheless, Kurt grabbed his messenger bag and slung it over his shoulder. Was he ready? No. Was he going to go through with this anyway? Yes. Would he survive this experience? Well, only time would tell.


	2. Chapter 1

All Kurt had to do, according to his dad, was sign in at the main office, head to his first class, and at the end of the day head to the principal's office for a (hopefully) short meeting with Principal Figgins. God, he hoped Principal Figgins wouldn't ask him to take any placement tests—his accommodations weren't completely set up yet and he just _knew_ that there would be some really long paragraph that would trip him up and he'd be reading it over and over again until he would run out of time. So basically like all of his middle school quizzes and tests prior to his treatment.

Kurt knew it was bad to jump to conclusions, to assume the worst, but that was exactly what he did best. That, and dressing on-point. Next to music, fashion was his go-to mood elevator. He was pretty sure that if anything were to go wrong today, it wouldn't be comments on how out of style he looked. Shopping was one of his only safe havens, after all, and if they took _that_ away from him… well, he wasn't sure he would ever set foot in this school again. Not that he'd really have a choice, but still.

As he exited the high school's main office, schedule in hand, Kurt felt lost. Not just in the literal sense, because he was 100% uncertain that he was going to be late for his first class because _there were so many freaking classrooms_. No, he also felt lost emotionally, because all the teasing in public school was coming back to him in flashback after flashback of pain.

* * *

"Hey, Kurt, whatcha doing?" Innocent words from a not-so-innocent 6th grader. Reggie stared at Kurt's fingers, resting on his light blue spiral-bound notebook; his favorite notebook for his favorite class.

Kurt stared down at his desk. "Nothing, nothing, I'm just…"

"Trying to fix your notebooks again? Like the good little teacher's pet FREAK that you are?"

He wasn't going to cry. Nope. But he knew that if he tried to fight back, it wasn't going to do him any good. There was a lump in his throat, anyway. Reggie's fingers brush against Kurt's notebook for a moment. "Please don't—um—"

"Don't… what?" There was that damn innocent voice again. Reggie's fingers danced back over to the edge of the notebook. And then they pushed it. Noticeably. Kurt's own fingers started to shake before he finally reached to straighten his notebook. Reggie's whole hand came onto the notebook and pushed it off the desk, onto the floor. "Oops!" Reggie exclaims with that same gimmicky tone.

His notebook was on the floor. His favorite notebook was on the floor. His favorite notebook was on the germ-infested, gum-wrapper-filled floor. And itw was crooked. Kurt's eyes widened in panic as his heart started to beat faster than he'd prefer. Tears threatened to form in his eyes as he reached to pick up the book, only to have his hand slapped away by Reggie's own.

"Here, let me get that for you," Reggie remarked with the falsest kindness humanly possible. "Oh, wait, my nose is really itchy, hang on…" The other boy rubbed his nose furiously with his hand. Kurt took the opportunity to grab the notebook from the floor.

"Hey!" Kurt's head shot up at the suddenly loud exclamation echoing from the bully. "I _said_ I was gonna get that. Are you… are you challenging me?" Kurt shook his head violently. "Seems like you're challenging me. I really, _really_ don't like that." Reggie, much to Kurt's horror, then grabbed Kurt's backpack off of the floor and placed it not-so-gently onto his desk. He, of course, started rummaging around in said backpack.

"What… what are you doing?" Kurt asked, almost whispering. He wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer.

"Just looking for something," Reggie replied casually. Too casually, and Kurt's afraid to stop the other boy from looking through his backpack, even though he's freaking out. Freaking. Out. Reggie is messing up the entire system of his backpack, little by little. "Oh, here it is!" Reggie murmured, seemingly to himself but definitely intending for Kurt to hear his words. The other boy's arm had finally stopped rummaging through the bag.

And then, Reggie pulled out a sheet of paper. A single sheet of paper, but Kurt immediately knew what it was. Thank god. "This is the homework, right?" Reggie questioned, staring at Kurt with a lurking threat in his gaze. Kurt nodded slowly, still nervous. If Reggie wanted to copy his homework, fine. He wasn't going to fuss about it.

Kurt sighed. "You can copy it, okay? Please just leave me alone," Kurt mumbled, not meeting the other boy's eyes.

"Great. Thanks, freak," Reggie said with a smirk, returning to his seat in the back of the classroom.

Kurt breathed out a sigh of relief. He started straightening his notebook again and was _sure_ he was in the clear until he heard obnoxious laughter coming from… the back of the classroom.

"Hey, freak!" Kurt's head jerked up. What could possibly be wrong with his homework? "Why are your letters so thick? What, you don't know how to write?" Other kids in the class were peering over Reggie's shoulder to see his writing. Crap. "Also, you really should have erased your doodles better." Erase his doodles? What did that…?

Kids began to simultaneously crack up while others started calling out "Kurt and Lucy, sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" The tears finally spilled out. He always erased his doodles before turning in his homework. Unless… unless Reggie _hadn't_ taken out the right homework! Echoes of the same cruel chants and hurtful remarks rang in his ears as he ran to the bathroom and promptly sobbed. Hysterically. He wanted to die. He actually wanted to die.

* * *

That was the past, Kurt reminded himself as he searched for classroom. He was in high school now. The chance that he ran into Reggie, or Lucy, or any of his classmates was quite minimal. He'd moved to a different area from his middle school, anyway. He doubted the boy, his biggest bully in middle school, even made it to high school. He also doubted that the girl who he thought he "liked"- and eventually who he "dated"—went to William McKinley High School. Good thing, too, because that girl probably wanted nothing to do with him at this point. And, honestly? He never wanted to see Reggie Carter or Lucy Fabray again.

A/N: Hello, everyone! Just wanted to let you guys know that I'm working on this story for NaNoWriMo... wish me luck! :)


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